The heated debate these past few days over whether it's 「于是人」 or 「于斯人」 got me thinking about my grandma again. I really want to go back to my hometown and dig through my old books, find my middle-school Chinese textbook, and see what the original text actually was — seeing is believing, after all. My grandma is in Jiangyan, and all my childhood textbooks are there too; she kept them all at home. Sigh, but sadly they're gone now, one after another. The home is gone, my grandma is gone. Those connections have been severed beyond repair.

Dreamed I took a train away from the cemetery 🪦. Along the way, so many people were burying their loved ones. Thinking that I would never have Grandma again, I cried myself awake. The greatness of a generation and its sacrifice for its children and grandchildren—years from now, their children's children should know it and remember it too. In a world of blooming flowers, the stars guard the sea and never leave. One day we too will walk toward you and turn into stars. Where our light cones intersect, we will meet again.

Last night I watched The Barber of Siberia until 1 a.m. before going to sleep. My mom said a friend recommended it — a really good film. Jeanne could have had a beautiful romance, but precisely because she made her living by deceiving people, misunderstandings piled up and complications multiplied. In this way, she unwittingly caused Andrei to accumulate more and more jealousy, until finally it spiraled out of control. Andrei’s jealousy drove him to do a series of things that would shape his entire life. Hot-blooded and young, he challenged a classmate stronger than himself and ended up badly wounded. When Jeanne whispered to the general to plead on his behalf, in his eyes it became an insult and a provocation from the general. In the end he attacked the general with a piano wire, was exiled to Siberia, and ruined his own future.

It’s been a few days since I finished Chinese Paladin 3, but it still has a hold on me, and I don’t want to let it go. Those moving love stories have ended. All that’s left are scene after scene of vivid memories, image after image of bittersweet beauty. Those stirring background melodies keep lingering in my ears.

The Chinese Paladin 3 TV series has been made too, and it’s currently a big hit here in China…

On 08.12.12, I watched The Fountain — a truly rare gem of a film! Through a unique story, the film recounts the protagonist’s eternal love for his wife, and reveals the meaning of life and the value of death.